"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
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Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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