i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
