i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
