There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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