i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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