i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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