she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
PANTIES FOUND
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