we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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