hotel room ftw
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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