she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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