I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
