i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
