this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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