i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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