so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
