everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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