Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There r osticjed everywhere
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize