so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
