Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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