It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
