Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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