She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
