it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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