meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
