you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
