He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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