Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
