The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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