You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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