He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
