My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
