I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
