Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize