he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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