They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
