You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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