She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
