Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
