the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
