There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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