had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
