You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
