every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
