question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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