I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
