haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
