I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize