We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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