Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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