My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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