I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
