if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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