Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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