with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
