i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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