you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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