I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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